simplify...simplify...simplify....

now playing: fleetwood mac, "angel"

today would be one of those days when turning in my CompTIA certification and dusting off my forklift operator's license seems almost serenely logical. when i compare the amount of occupational stress in my life now to the stresses in my life all those years ago when i was Mister Factory Guy, i seem to come up with some tough questions about where i went wrong. 'course, i was always broke, was unhappy with where i lived, wasn't satisifed with my marriage...

nowadays, though...

hmmm...i'm always broke, i'm not real thrilled about where i live....

maybe this isn't the best time for "compare and contrast"....

as a result of this whole book project, i'm finding myself thinking a lot about that particular period of my life lately...when the kids were much smaller, when a lot of my life down the road looked much more open-ended than it does now...i think that in a lot of ways, i've been clinging to a false sense of having simplified my life in the time since, somehow. i'm starting to see, however, that this is simply not true. my life is as hectic now as it was when i was scrambling to make tour dates in newport, boston, new york city and philadelphia in a three day period. it's just hectic in a different way.

tonight, i have to drive out to morgantown and set up a wireless network for someone who bought pc's from me a few weeks ago, but only just recently got their internet connection installed...then out to collegeville to inspect a possible repair job. if i'm lucky, i'll be home by eleven o'clock.

how is this simpler? or better, for that matter?

this is history repeating itself. this is life taking something that i enjoy doing and putting me in a position to do it over and over again until i'm sick of it.

i can't help but wonder what gene it is that i carry that brings me back around to this point time and time again...do most people, as a rule, have a higher tolerance for repetition, where things they're passionate about are concerned? or is it maybe an issue of the possible lack of passion on my part for both of these periods of my life. they're a lot more similar than i'm probably willing to admit to myself at the moment.

maybe i'll try a little subliminal suggestion...i'll emblazon the word NO on the wall across from my monitor and see if seeing it on a regular basis will make it any easier to say.